Longing

Have you ever longed for "the next step" so much that it made you miserable in your "hear and now"? That's where I have been the past few months. I've had a craving for the next step in life. I don't know what it looks likes or even what it is. I've just been saying, "it's not this". This isn't what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. I've looked online thinking maybe more education, maybe I need to schedule a meeting with this or that person, and tell then my vision/dreams for the future. Let's get real. I don't even know what that is. When these thoughts have come to my mind, God has nicely reminded of the time when He told me not to continue my education more. I know that sounds crazy but it really happened about 6-8 months before I graduated with my bachelors degree. He has also reminded me of the times when I have tried to rush in front of Him before and the times He has so clearly showed me the next step and guided me along the way. 

The past couple of weeks and mainly this week, God has shown me that He has me in this place now to grow and strengthen me. He is giving me the tools that I will need in order to do what's next. Just this week if I wouldn't have been in a certain meeting, I would not have been able to later speak the truth that I had learned earlier that day to a friend. I had no idea while I was in that meeting that God was arranging a meeting time that only He could arrange. His timing was perfect. As I sat there that night, God softly spoke to me and reminded me that He has it under control. I need to stop running from the place of life that I'm in now, and allow Him to grow me. If I don't gain the knowledge from the things now, I will not be able to do what's next.

With all of that said, my prayer is that God will continue to change my attitude. I know that this step is necessary for me to able to do the next step efficiently. I want to stop hating this place in life and start enjoying it. I know God has a purpose for it. His path in life is always way better then my wondering in the desert.

Much Love,

Kandice

The New Norm...

I started the new year off by saying...

"This year, I want to remember to stop  smell the roses and not take life for granted. I want to be happier and make those around me happy. But most of all, I want to be who God wants me to be. I want to do, what God is calling me to do. I want to go, WHEREVER He leads. I want the abundant life He has set for me. The good, the bad and the ugly."

Wow! What a month it has been. It has been full of surprises and changes. On January 3rd my papaw fell and cracked his knee cap and broke his wrist. That was just the beginning of what was about to become my "new norm". 

My papaw has been through a lot medically (another post, another time). Each time he has bounced back more then we could imagine. We expected the same this time but it hasn't happened. We had to come to the realization that "the time" has come. For as long as I can remember my grandparents have told me that "when the time came that they could no longer care for themselves they wanted to go to the nursing home." Well that reality came true this week. This past Tuesday, my papaw was placed in the nursing home. 

As I type this, I sit in the hospital with my nanny. She just had shoulder surgery. Now it's time to get her recovered.

My "new norm" this month has become caring even more for my grandparents. I have traveled the roads from Alabama to Tennessee several time. I'm learning the in's and out's of Medicaid and Medicare. I've helped plan both of their funerals. I've taken over their finances and  learned what it mean to have to Spend Down.

I'm not complaining. I'm so thankful that I'm in the position to do it. I'm thankful to have a supportive husband who is understanding and freely gives his wife to go. I asked God to grow me. I asked God to send and use me "wherever". I just didn't imagine it would start here. 

Earlier this week, a sweet lady told me that things would get easier once I accepted my new norm. So that's what I'm doing. My place of ministry for this season is with my grandparents. I accept it FULLY! I know God is going to use me and teach me so much more. I want to be FULL of Him and what He has for me.

~Kandice 

 

A New Year 2014

Today is the start to a new year. I was able to spend the day with My Love and our friends. I hiked, crawled, walked, and climbed more today, then I have in a long time. We went Spelunking aka Caving. Afterward I fixed the most random lunch of whatever I could pull together (popcorn chicken, fries, sausage balls, chips and dip, and homemade candies), but those college students didn't care. They were just excited for a free meal.

When I think of New Years, I first think of resolutions. Wikipedia defines New Year's Resolution as: A New Year's resolution is a promise that you make to yourself to start doing something good or stop doing something bad on the first day of the year. Most people set New Year's Resolutions such as to exercise more, lose weight, stop smoking, etc. I saw an article that stated that 88% of people do not keep their resolutions.

This year I will not be setting any resolutions but defining areas that I want to grow in.

Zach and I have had many blessings this past year. Our marriage has grown even stronger. We have been blessed with a church that focuses on marriages. The spring term of last year we were able to attend a Wednesday night class, lead by the McGuire's, where things just "got real". In October we attended our second year in Ridgecrest, NC to attend the Festivals of Marriage. It's so much more then just a weekend of marriage conferences. It's a weekend away with "your love" growing, learning, and having fun. Also, this past year was a lot of "first's" for us. Zach was promoted as a full time manager at Rosies, we moved into our first house (still renting, but at least we are out of an apartment), and we got our first puppy- Moses. ----- In this year, I want to grow as a better wife for my husband. He deserves a wife that will respect him and love him unconditionally. Due to how we work, we are limited on how much we see each other. I want to spend less time on Facebook, my phone, and doing meaningless things when we are together. I want our time together to actually be spent together.

As a social worker, this past year was the hardest of my 3 1/2 years of practicing. I would like to ask before you bad mouth your local child welfare workers, that you stop and think about the stress and pressure that is on them. They have to make many life altering decisions daily. ----In this year, I want to grow as a better social worker. Not quick to judge but to remember these people are still human and deserve respect. I want to help reunite more families back together and have to find less relative resources. To show grace when needed, but still ensure the best safety for children.

I feel like this past year, God has been teaching me a lot. This past fall term at church, I was part of a class were we started going through the Old Testament. We didn't just talk about the Bible stories that many know, but really dug into the details of them. As Kara Taylor says, "you cannot love a God that you don't know". Over the past few months God has placed a college student into my life. It has been a joy to watch this person grow and start to be freed of the bondage of legalism. As God is using me with this person, He is teaching me a lot as well. ---- In this year, I want to grow an even deeper relationship with my Father. I want to learn so much more about Him, and His plans for my life. I want to share the Gospel more with other. Both near and far.

This year, I want to remember to stop and smell the roses and not take life for granted. I want to be happier and make those around me happy. But most of all, I want to be who God wants me to be. I want to do, what God is calling me to do. I want to go, WHEREVER He leads. I want the abundant life He has set for me. The good, the bad and the ugly.

~Kandice