This January will be nineteen years since my mom's passing. She passed on January 3, 1995 just five days before her 35th birthday. My mom loved the holidays. The baking, decorating, and having a good time. On our last Christmas together, my aunt got us a karaoke machine. This is the only Christmas that is on video of my mom. We had so much fun singing "My Girl" that night in my grandparents living room. That will always be my favorite Christmas! Christmas now just isn't the same. Yes, I can still enjoy the holiday with the family I still have, but a part of my heart will always be empty.
In my 3 1/2 years of practicing social work I have now had to stand beside three different families as they said goodbye to a spouse and father or children. I grieve for these families. My heart is broken for the children left behind because I know the loss they are going to feel for the rest of their lives. I feel so helpless. Anytime there is a need or someone is hurting, I want to jump in "sometimes too fast" and fix it. In this situation there is nothing that will take the pain away. No amount of casseroles, visits or hugs will bring their loved one back but maybe it will help them to know that I do care.
So once again, why did I decided to become a social worker and have to relive past pains at time.... Because I can relate. During weeks like these, I can look at these families and say, "I'm so sorry. I know how bad you are feeling."
Empathy is more powerful than sympathy. Anyone can say, "I feel sorry for you." Few can say, "I know how you feel." You need not have a magic wand to make it better. Often, things cannot be made better. Sometimes, one never just "gets over it." Often, there is only enduring the pain. Sometimes, that pain is every day forever. In those moments, it is enough to know that someone else knows that also and will not bother you with sweet nothings.
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