The Abundant Life

The Abundant Life 

I was able to share "my story" with a sweet young lady not long ago. She knew pieces from the past few years but wanted to know what happened to land me with my grandparents as a junior in high school.

Some people are very private with their life stories. For some the memories still cause a great deal of pain. I have learned to share mine. It's not to brag or try to get sympathy. I view it as, God has allowed me to walk a difficult road. I don't know all of His reasons, but maybe His only reason, is for me to be able to relate and help someone else that is on the same road that I was. Don't get me wrong, some days are still difficult but through God's grace and mercy, I am learning how to handle those days.

As I sat in my living room with that young lady pouring out my life of abuse and lost, I was reminded of the people who stepped in at different times to show me love.

My parents divorced when I was one. My mom married again when I was three to a man who had three children of his own. My dad married a lady who had a daughter and together they had a son who is five years younger then me. (To protect everyone involved I will not list names or give all the details) When I was seven years old and in the second grade, my step-dad adopted me. On that day I gained a new family but also lost a side of my family. Two months later I came home from school to discover that my mom had passed away. My whole life was turned upside down yet again. Due to my step-dad being a truck driver during the week, I spent the next 2 1/2 years living between my grandparents and aunt. The summer before I started my fourth grade year of school, my step-dad remarried the mother of his children. I then went to live with them. As a child, I was excited because I thought I was about to be like all the other kids with a dad, mom, and siblings. To my grandparents and aunt, this was another death. They had already lost my mom and now they were losing me. I was too young to understand it all then. All I could see was the tension and friction it was causing between all these people that I loved and I felt pulled in many different directions. The next several years were filled with lots of mountain tops and valleys. I know what it is like to spend a week each summer at church camp but also scrape up change to purchase food or turn the lights back on. I know what it means to attend church each Sunday but not to truly see the church lived out at home. I've been the kid who received the free/reduced lunch at school and counted on "the system" to meet my medical/dental needs. I've experienced the craziness of too many people living in a small house with one bathroom. I have been picked at and teased to the point that it has caused me to be very self conscious and hard to open up around others. There were many fun times and never a dull moment but also a lot of heartbreaking times. As I got older and through the help of others, my eyes were opened. I was not suppose to spend the rest of my life just scraping by or being the Cinderella of the home. In November of my junior year of high school I went back to live with my grandparents. It was one of the best but hardest decisions I had ever had to make. Once again, I gained a family back, but lost the family that I had known for so long. When I moved, I left with the clothes on my back. I was able later on to get some of my personal belongings. The next year and half were challenging. I had to adjust to a new way of living and new exceptions for my life. I was learning what it meant to be valued, loved, and appreciated. There was no question with my grandparents if I would attend college. They just didn't know what to do to get me there. Through the help of many, I moved to Florence, AL on 8/19/06 to attend the University of North Alabama to major in Social Work. My college experience is a whole other story filled with joys and trials. Those four years were spent searching and finding who "Kandice" really was and suppose to become. There are things that I did during those years that I wish I wouldn't have, but those experiences have helped me to be freed of legalism and understand the meaning of God's grace. I met my husband on 12/8/08 while in college. We were engaged in April of 2010 and Married May 7, 2011. In May of 2010 I graduated with a degree in Social Work. I spent two years working as a home visitor for the Early Head Start Program. I have spent the past year and half working with the Department of Human Resources through the state of Alabama.

As I finished my story that night, she looked at me and asked, "how do you work at your job with everything you have gone through?". I replied by saying, "I can relate to many of their situations but can also show them they can change". 

I've gone from relying on the system to provide for my basic needs to working for the system. I am now happily married, I am part of a church who loves me and encourages me weekly, and I have a close relationship with my small family. God has blessed me with my grandparents- aka "my old people", an aunt of uncle who have stepped up to the role of being my fill-in-parents, and a cousin who is like a big sister. I've had the opportunity over the past few years to meet my half brother. We live in two different states but keep connected through social media. My husband and I recently grew our family by adding a four legged fur ball named Moses. 

John 10:10 says "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I cam that they may have life and have it abundantly."

The thief (Satan) has tried many times to steal, kill, and destroy my life. There have been times when I wished my life would end or I would have a panic attack due to fear. I have let sin cripple me in the past into believing that I could never be viewed as a "good" person again. The past five years God has been freeing me of that bondage. I know that through Him, I can have an abundant life. That does not mean that my life will be easy, but it does mean God will always be there to help me through that valley and up to the next mountain top. 

I have learned to praise God throughout the journey of my life. My road has taken me many places but God has always been there to guide me. God placed many people throughout my life who helped me take that next step. There were many teachers who touched my life, but just taking a little extra time with me. There were family members, church members, and friends who gave me words of encouragement. The local child advocacy, Kid's Place, believed in me enough as a teenager, they hired me as their Administrative Assistant. God uses all different kinds of people even now to give me that extra boost that I may need at times.

Has my life been hard? Yes! However, I wouldn't change it. It has taught me so much.

Right now I'm on the mountain, but there is a valley ahead. I don't know what it looks like but I rest assured that God sees ahead.

~Kandice